Here Comes the Bride
by Anna Nimmie Tee
Summary: The Sword of Light reappears but in the wrong hands. Gourry returns to his home and Lina learns new culinary magic from his relatives.
1. Part 1

[When I watched Try and saw Gourry with his long yellow hair and the "Mallet/Hammer of Light," he reminded me of D.C. Comic's Thor. From there my twisted old mind led me to the Scandinavian folk tale/myth of the gods Loki and Thor retrieving Thor's hammer from the giants. Thor had to dress in drag to pretend to be the goddess the giant chief wanted to wed, and, like Gourry, Thor was embarrassed and hated it.  
  
Loki, the trickster fire god, like Xelloss, often put on a seeming of helpfulness but often had evil intentions underneath and enjoyed the pain and discomfort of others.]  
  
Here Comes the Bride  
  
by Anna Nimmie Tee  
  
The usual disclaimers that I don't own the characters but bow in homage and appreciation to Kanzaka et al.  
  
*****************************************************  
  
Lina stuck her nose out of the bed covers. Wooo, it was cold in this inn, and Gourry WOULD insist on sleeping with a window open! A gesture of her hand emerging from blankets closed the source of the heat loss and a few other waves of her hand accompanied by whispered words of magic caused fresh logs to pile themselves in the fireplace. A small, well-aimed fireball lit the wood. She wiggled her backside closer to Gourry's and, burrowing down more in the covers, relished the warmth of his body. Then, to her annoyance, nature chose to call before the room had heated up to her satisfaction. As she wondered if she could hold her bladder a little longer, she heard a soft slipping noise coming from the direction of the door to the room. Peeking out from the covers again, she saw the envelope.  
  
"Oh, yuck, I hope it's not another mysterious letter leading to yet another unprofitable adventure. Why can't mazoku just lay off?!" she thought to herself as she ducked her head back under the blankets. Reluctantly she stuck one little bare foot out of the covers, then the other, and fumbled with her feet for her slippers while the rest of her remained buried under the warm bedding. Flinging off the covers on her side of the bed, she ran for the necessary. Shivering the whole while, she finished her mission and washed her hands. She then dashed to the door and scooped up the letter. Looking at the warm bed and its occupant, then the letter, then the bed, she pondered: Read letter or jump back in bed? Her nipples sent her an outstanding message: Warm bed! She ran to that inviting piece of furniture, tossed the letter on the side table and leapt back into the bed to snuggle next to the oblivious swordsman.  
  
"Oh, it's cold, it's cold, so cold! Brrrr!" she exclaimed from under the bedding.  
  
"AHHHHH!" yelled Gourry as Lina's cold feet touched his bare legs.  
  
"Sweetie, ain't I good to you?" she purred.  
  
"Whaddaya mean!"  
  
"I didn't put my hands on you as well!" she smirked and put them on his bare belly.  
  
"Good gods, Lina! Get those icicles off me!" He turned on his side grabbed and held her hands away from him. "Here. Put 'em under your armpits. Eh, what's that on the table?"  
  
"It's a letter, Baka. It was just slipped under the door."  
  
"Well, let's warm you up first before we see what it says."   
  
Wrapping himself around her and slipping his hand under her nightie, he held one of her breasts and nuzzled her neck. "Hmmm, now I understand the saying 'Cold as a witch's tit,'" he chuckled into her hair.  
  
"Gourry Dah-ling, if I wasn't so damn cold and needing your body warmth, I'd kick you out of this bed so fast..." His mouth put a stop to further display of temper.   
  
When they awoke from the 'warm-up' session an hour later, Gourry reached over Lina to retrieve the letter. Sitting up, he broke the seal and tore open the envelope. Lina snuggled up to his chest and draped a languorous arm across it while he read.  
  
"Well, who's it from and what's it say, Gourry?"  
  
"It's from Sylphiel's uncle. Oh, no-o-o!"  
  
"What, what, what?! Did she blow herself up attempting another black magic spell? I told her she should stick to white magic!" Lina fumed but had a worried look on her face.  
  
"No, she seems to have disappeared. He is asking us to come because one of the reasons she may have disappeared involves me or my family somehow. He doesn't want to say in a letter, but hopes we may help."  
  
"She did look a little down at our hand-fasting, but she hugged me and said she was happy for us. I think she is more level-headed than to do something drastic."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Ah, never mind, Jellyfish Brains."  
  
"Oh, you mean she might have been too depressed and done something to herself 'cause she's had a crush on me?"  
  
"What?! You knew?"  
  
"Yeah, that Dear Gourry thing was a tip off, but I couldn't deal with hurting her feelings and tried to ignore it. She's been a family friend such a long time. I kinda hoped she'd be like Martina and find a new guy to latch on to if I acted like I was unaware of her affection. Ow! What was that for?!"  
  
"Yeah, I don't know why I try to pound sense into your head. It only hurts my hand. Well, I guess we'd better get ready to hit the road again. At least Seyruun is warmer than this place. Ha! Last one to breakfast pays!" She kissed him and bounced out of the bed. As her buns left the bed, he lunged across and gave them a light smack with his hand. Lina glared at him, but a self-satisfied smile plastered itself on her face as she dashed across the room to give herself a quick wash.   
  
  
  
******************************************************  
  
"The Sword of Light has returned?!! B-b-but I gave it to that Overworlder to return it to it's proper home! It doesn't belong here!" Gourry cried.  
  
Upon reaching Sylphiel's uncle's home in Seyruun, they discovered Sylphiel had heard a strange rumor from a from an Elmekian trader who had sought out Sylphiel's healing powers to treat a festering wound. When asked where was he from and how he had gotten the injury, he had revealed startling news.  
  
"Apparently a renegade Overworlder has crossed over to our world," explained the uncle, "And he has started to wreak havoc in the Elmekia Empire. I think Sylphiel left to check out the rumor. I told her to let someone else go. It wasn't a job for a young woman."  
  
"Is that so?" Lina asked in too even a voice and began to glower.  
  
Gourry recognized the tone and quickly added, "You mean by herself, don't you, sir?" and gave the uncle a warning look over Lina's head.  
  
The uncle had noticed the gathering power in Lina's hand and readily agreed, "Yes, yes, I meant without a protector, of course. She is not skilled enough in black magic, while you are, Mrs. Lina. She knows the Dragon Slave, but that may be a little too drastic for most situations."  
  
Both men gave a sigh of relief as Lina appeared to calm down a little.  
  
"The Elmekia Empire is huge. Where would she be likely to go?" Lina queried as she tapped the side of her head in thought.  
  
"Probably to Master Gourry's family. They are the descendants of the original Swordsman of Light, who planted Flagoon. Our two families were very friendly with each other at one time because of the Holy Tree."  
  
Gourry turned pale. "Returning to my family is going to be rather difficult, maybe even deadly, since I, ahem, removed the Sword of Light from family dispute and then returned it to the Overworlder."  
  
"But you did great deeds with it, Gourry. Surely they will be able to forgive you for taking it because of the honor you brought the family," Lina tried to reassure him.  
  
"You don't know the jealousy of my brothers or the lengths they will go to to gain power over each other," he replied sadly. "When my father died without saying who should inherit the Sword, they nearly killed each other and caused much dangerous fighting in the family. I never expected to get the thing, but Mother gave it to me and told me to run out of the Empire and far away with it. She said I had the purest heart in the family and would be the one able to dispose of it or to use it for the most good."  
  
"Does this mean you won't try to find my niece or what is happening?" the crestfallen uncle asked. "I'll pay you well."  
  
Lina's eyes got starry.  
  
"No payment needed as Sylphiel is a good friend. A great meal cooked by her would be enough," Gourry replied.  
  
Lina yanked on one of his tresses to bring his head down to her level and hissed into his ear, "Expenses, Gourry, expenses."  
  
Gourry crossed his arms, gave her a look and mildly scolded her, "We've acquired plenty of bandit loot on our way here. Plus I don't like to take advantage of friends' misfortunes." Lina pouted, but before she could argue further, he turned to the uncle and reassured him, "If Sylphiel is in danger and it involves the Sword of Light, I'll just have to take my chances with my family. We'll try to find Sylphiel and see what is happening in my homeland."  
  
"Jellyfish, you'll have ME with you to guard your back," Lina reminded him. Her face brightened. "Since you now have the Blast Blade, when we retrieve the Sword of Light, maybe you can give it to me as an anniversary present, huh, huh?" And she gave him her widest starry-eyed look.  
  
"I don't know, Lina. I think we have to somehow send the Sword of Light back to the Overworld. It just causes too much trouble here if it lands in the wrong hands."  
  
Lina's temper got the better of her. "Hey! You think mine would be the wrong hands? I wouldn't let it be stolen from me or let myself get possessed, ya know!" she retorted.  
  
Distress and hurt made a rare appearance on Gourry face. He whispered angrily in her ear, "Oh, yeah, what about those ghosts when we first met Amelia?" He clenched his fists and looked away. Despite his reputation for forgetfulness, the memories of possession by Phibrizo and the theft of the Sword by Jiris and Valgaav had not left him.  
  
Lina touched his arm gently and uncertainly with her gloved hand. The unaccustomed sadness in his blue eyes as he turned back to her almost broke her heart. "I'm sorry, Gourry. You are right," she contritely tried to make amends as she grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. The clouds began to disappear, and he started to smile again.  
  
The uncle, who had looked uncomfortably off in the distance during this exchange, cleared his throat.  
  
Lina recovered with a sigh and said, "Well, I suppose we'd better say a quick hello to Amelia and Phil before we depart. Otherwise Amelia would be hurt."  
  
Sylphiel's uncle informed them, however, "I'm afraid the Prince and Princess are away on a diplomatic mission at present. I would be glad to send them your greetings, though."  
  
Lina scribbled a note for Amelia, and she and Gourry took their leave of Seyruun.  
  
*****************************************************   
  
Half way to the Elmekia Empire, the couple were having their usual food competition at a restaurant famous for its roast boar. As Gourry reached across the table to spear another slice from Lina's plate, four very large, very fierce warriors approached.  
  
"Gourry Gabriev?" the largest and most threatening looking of them growled. He was six inches taller than Gourry and broader at the shoulders by a good nine inches. A scar ran from his left temple to the middle of his forehead. His long blond hair was in many braids, and a reddish blond beard bristled his broad chin and square jaw. Huge muscles bulged on his arms.  
  
Lina brought her hands up in preparation for a spell, and Gourry lightly placed his hand on his sword as he replied in a disarming manner, "Why, yes. Would you tell us who you are and join us for something to eat and drink before we discuss why you are looking for me?"  
  
The four suddenly drew their swords and the leader cried "At last we found you!" Behind them, Lina and Gourry spied Sylphiel standing looking scared but firm. But instead of fighting, the men knelt and saluted Gourry with their swords, saying, "Hail, Lord Gabriev!" and the leader added, "Don't you recognize me? I'm your little cousin, Mikey. These men are my friends Sergei, Atanas, and Nick. Guess I've grown a lot since you last saw me."  
  
As Gourry's jaw hit the floor and remained there, Lina picked hers up and shrieked, "Sylphiel, where have you been and what's going on here?! Lord Gabriev?!" She glared at Gourry.  
  
Gourry quickly recovered from surprise, and tears began to run down his face. "They are dead then. Oh gods, I left for nothing." He covered his face with his hands.  
  
"They died from their own greed and stupidity," Sylphiel softly replied as she placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Whether you had remained at home or left with the Sword of Light, the outcome would have been the same, except they might have killed you in their paranoia and greed for power."  
  
"Hello, I'm here, too. Ok, when Gourry understands something and I don't, I get a little testy," Lina interrupted impatiently.  
  
"My brothers are dead. All my sisters are younger than I. This means I'm now the eldest child. I have to inherit my father's title. I am now the Baron Gabriev," Gourry reluctantly explained.  
  
"Your father was a baron? Why didn't you tell me..."  
  
"I figured, given the, um, circumstances of my leaving my home and the claims of my brothers, that I'd never have anything but the Sword. Heck, I never thought having a title made anybody better anyway, especially if they hadn't earned the thing themselves. There are peasants more noble acting than some of my relatives. Besides, I kinda forgot about all that family nobility crap. It's only a small, rural barony, even though, yes, Lina, it does have a castle." He looked at the four men still kneeling. "Uh, guys, you can get up now." As the men arose, Gourry and Mikey exchanged hearty hugs, after which Gourry suggested, "Why don't you grab something to eat and drink while we talk to Sylphiel?"  
  
"As you command, M'Lord." And the grinning men sat themselves at a nearby table. Gourry gave a deep, sad sigh.  
  
Lina gulped down another angry exclamation, even though it made her very red in the face to do so. Then she realized, "Hey, that means I'm a baroness! A castle, did you say? Servants?"  
  
Gourry looked disractedly at the floor and nodded in the affirmative.  
  
"Alright! I guess following your heart can bring unexpected rewards!" Lina happily squealed, but seeing the serious look on Gourry's face, knew she had to settle down and tackle the more pressing matter of the Overworlder. "Sylphiel, what have you found out about this Sword of Light and Overworlder thing?"  
  
"The Sword has indeed returned and is in the hands of a being not from this world. When the Gabrievs heard the Sword was in the Empire and in the hands of a stranger, they gathered a small force to try to wrest it away from Titanos, the Overworlder. It seems he has destroyed the Elmekian court and is rapidly taking over the lands of various lords. The Gabrievs never could agree with one another or other leaders. They just couldn't work together because of their suspicions and greed, and they didn't know the nature of the being who held the Sword. They were easily overcome."  
  
"Who has survived?" Gourry asked Mikey.  
  
"Only a handful of male cousins, your mother, most of your female cousins, your sisters and a couple of your aunts who stayed behind."  
  
"Auntie Vasilia?"  
  
"War woman's death. Your cousin Dora was badly wounded, but Sylphiel saved her. Her sword arm will never be the same, though."  
  
While Gourry sadly pondered the news, Lina queried, "So what does this Titanos want? Did you find out?"  
  
"Control of this whole world and..." Sylphiel then added very, very quietly, ducking her head into her shoulders, "you as his bride."  
  
"Whaaat!! But I'm already married!"  
  
Gourry spat out the sip of ale he had just tried to drink and started coughing. Four anxious warriors rose as one to come over to pound him on the back, but a purple-haired priest in a black cape beat them to him.  
  
"Here. Cough it up into this empty bowl," the Trickster advised as he whacked Gourry on the back a few times.  
  
"Well, if it isn't the Black Cone Man himself! Wouldn't you know it?" Lina exclaimed. "Just what we need. Mazoku meddling."  
  
"Now, now, Lina. I'm saving your husband here, although it might make things easier if I didn't." Xelloss admonished. "Greetings, Miss Sylphiel. Looking lovely as ever, I see. You, too, Lina."  
  
Sylphiel gave a little gasp, as she felt his true nature, but with a disgusted look on her face, Lina only informed Sylphiel, "Remember, he returned the Sword of Light to Gourry after that little incident with the Hellmaster? He can be useful. So what is it you're after now, Xelloss? As if you'd really tell us."  
  
"If you're expecting me to say 'That's a secret,' why, I may disappoint you, Lina, because it isn't. This Overworlder's desires do not fit my master's plans. He's actually of lower rank and possesses less power than Almayce and Sirius, but with the Sword of Light, he could be a serious inconvenience to mazoku as well as the rest of you. Apparently after hearing Sirius' description of the defeat of Dark Star, he thinks you, Lina, are so powerful and power hungry that you would make a good consort to enhance his own ambitions in this universe."  
  
"Hey, I do have my moral limits! I just wanna be recognized for my talents and beauty and have the freedom to experience and enjoy life."  
  
Xelloss thought to himself, "Freedom. Yes, that you and Gourry have, and I can never have. You are attached to no master. Maybe that is what truly interests us in you and creates so many possibilities for us to manipulate."  
  
Out loud he said, "This desire of his for you may give us the opening to defeat him. The Elmekian rusulki of Deep Sea Dolphin have been spying. [author's note: In Slavic folklore vengeful female water spirits who drown unwary men.] They have informed me that he only knows Lina has red hair and is very powerful. He has no idea of her body build." Xelloss gave an evil open-eyed grin and looked at Gourry. "I have a plan. Glad to see you still haven't grown a beard or mustache, Gourry, and you still have that lovely hair that makes me so jealous."  
  
"Eh?" Gourry gave his usual clueless look.  
  
Lina and Sylphiel were a little quicker on the uptake.  
  
"Yeah, If Jellyfish here went with me just as himself, he'd be in a lot of danger, especially if it became know to Titanos that we're already married," Lina declared. "But maybe I should just reclaim the Sword of Light and take care of Titanos by myself, since I can cast a spell on the blade to enhance it."  
  
"And if it happens to be your time of the month when we get there, or something else, ahem, has developed?" So saying, Xelloss looked meaningfully at Lina's abdomen.  
  
Lina went from rosy to purple and Xelloss found himself with a delicious knuckle sandwich, served courtesy of Lina Inverse.  
  
"Precautions have been taken against the latter, pervert!" she hissed at him.  
  
"Thanks for the snack, Lina. But with the picture he seems to have in his mind of what you should look like, he might not believe you are you."  
  
"I'd show him soon enough with a well placed spell!"  
  
"Lina, I rather think Mr. Xelloss is right. It's not a good idea for you to go." Sylphiel said. "If you yourself leave for the Elmekia Empire, bandits here may think they can return to their dastardly ways. There would be no one to stop them as effectively as you do, and people would suffer horribly while you are gone. You know the clean-up needed when you returned from the lands outside the former magic barrier."  
  
"If they think I'm gone and emerge to start trouble, I could catch 'em by surprise and have more chances to add to our retirement funds. You got something there, Sylphiel…Hmmm… On our way here I noticed that just around the corner is Bonnie's Bridal Boutique for the Big and Beautiful," Lina mused in some glee and rubbed her hands together.  
  
"I saw a simply gorgeous hair style with baby's breath flowers woven into it in one of my bridal magazines. It would look so lovely on him," Sylphiel added.  
  
Gourry stood up and backed away as the candle lit. "No-o-o! Oh, no,no,no! Not again. Uh, uh. No way!"  
  
"Not again?" asked Mikey curiously.  
  
Gourry deeply blushed and moaned, "Lina and the princess of Seyruun made me dress in drag a few times as disguise to fool our enemies. It was hideous." And he shuddered.  
  
"What colors did you wear? I hope pink. It'd look good on you," Mikey said thoughtfully.  
  
"Yeah," agreed the three other Elmekian men. "Although bridal white would also be a good 'un," one added.  
  
Gourry whimpered.  
  
"Gourry, for you to dress in drag is a solid strategy. A good warrior tactic. I certainly know you are really very, very masculine," Lina reassured him and winked salaciously.  
  
"Ah, ah..but my hair is the wrong color," Gourry protested as a last ditch effort.  
  
"Silly. A henna application will take care of that," Sylphiel put in. "And after three weeks, most of it will come out, if you wash your hair and eyebrows often enough. Mascara will take care of your eyelashes."  
  
Gourry sobbed into his hands.  
  
Xelloss added, "Listen, Gourry, think about it, if you can. Do you want a power hungry, lesser god from the Overworld taking over your world? Who is best to use the Sword of Light for the good of this world? Your family has used it for generations and knows its dangers and its benefits. If I were to retrieve it, my master would probably ask for it, and I would have to give it over. If my master has it, it will attract the attention of the other dark lords. There is enough competition...Gourry, wake up!"   
  
"(Yawn) Yeah, yeah."  
  
"Ok, put simply would you want ME to use the Sword of Light? If I retrieved it alone, it would be very tempting, although not really needed with my powers."  
  
"That would be a very bad thing. Ok, ok. Guess I gotta do this."  
  
"If it'll make you feel any better, I be in drag, too, as your bridesmaid."  
  
"Goody, goody! Two guys to dress and make up!" Lina and Sylphiel laughed and clapped their hands.  
  
"You don't have to be so jubilant about it," groused Gourry.  
  
"It's for the good of our homeland and our world," said Mikey, who slapped his cousin on the back. "We'd go with you, but we might be recognized."  
  
"You should probably return home to help defend it, if need be," Gourry suggested.  
  
"Your mother is capably in charge, but, yes, she may need us. We'll see you there. In the meanwhile, we'll rest up a bit."  
  
The cousins embraced once more, and Lina and Sylphiel grabbed Gourry by the arms to take him shopping. Xelloss followed with a wider grin than usual as he fed off the distress of the swordsman. 


	2. Part 2

Here Comes the Bride, Part 2  
  
*****************************************************************  
  
"Gods, this henna stuff is gloppy and obnoxious! How long must it stay on?" the former blond warrior complained.  
  
[author's note: Traditional henna for hair, not the nice extract you now can get from the drug store, is finely powered leaves that gets mixed with water to form a sort of very gritty paste and takes forever to get out of long hair and the wash basin/tub. I tried it once. That was enough.]  
  
"Just a few minutes more, Dear," Lina assured him  
  
"Sylphiel, why are you putting nail polish on my toenails, too?" the suffering swordsman wailed. "My finger nails feel like they are suffocating as it is!"  
  
"You must remember we bought you those lovely open-toed pumps to wear," Sylphiel reminded him. "The color will peep nicely through the stockings."  
  
"This shade of red goes so well with my bridesmaid's dress, don't you think?" Xelloss cheerfully queried and held up his splayed out fingers. He was ignored.  
  
"Ok," Lina announced, "Time to rinse the henna mixture off your hair and eyebrows. You've got so much hair, this is gonna take a while and a lot of water, I'm afraid." She then began to dump a bucket of water on Gourry's head.  
  
"Ack! At least warm the water up!" he protested.  
  
A half an hour later, Gourry looked like a drowned, copper-haired rat. A judiciously modified fireball combined with a wind spell soon dried his hair enough for the women to dress him.  
  
"Ooo, Red, those boxers won't do. Better wear these bikini briefs in case the wind blows your skirt up," Lina demanded.  
  
"If the wind blows my skirt up, that little piece of cloth will clue 'im I'm a male more than the boxers!"  
  
"These frilly pantaloons will handle that, but boxers won't look right under them," Sylphiel declared as she held up the undergarment. "Just get behind that screen and put on the briefs and pantaloons."  
  
"Wait, Sylphiel, we have something else for him," and Lina dangled it in front of the dismayed swordsman.  
  
"What the @#$@# is that? A four-armed octopus?"  
  
"No, ya squid, it's a garter belt. It'll hold up your stockings. You put the pantaloons over the garter belt and briefs. Gourry, stop being a puddle, get up off the floor, get behind the screen and put this stuff on!"  
  
Taking pity on the poor man, Sylphiel whispered, "Lina, why don't we put him in panty hose or use garters?"  
  
"He'll probably put a run in one of the stockings, and he'll just have to replace one leg instead of having to pull off the pantaloons and put on another full set of pantyhose. Garters can slip down. Plus the garter belt'll make him look sexy when he takes off the pantaloons," Lina confided behind her hand to Syphiel.  
  
"Just like this," Xelloss simpered and held up his skirt to reveal black fishnet stockings, garter belt, and, to their relief, panties.  
  
"Put it down, you fruitcake!" Lina screamed as she thunked the monster on his head. This did cause Xelloss to quickly drop his skirt, but not before the women noticed, to their curiosity, that he (or perhaps now she?) didn't seem to have a "package." But they weren't going to indulge him by commenting.  
  
Lina shook her head in disgust before going back to work on the disgruntled swordsman, who, after much swearing, had emerged sheepishly from behind the screen. "Gourry, you ought to be thankful this new padded push-up bra requires less stuffing to give you a fuller figure," Lina admonished as she hooked together the over-shoulder boulder holder behind his back.  
  
"Isn't the lace and pearl work absolutely gorgeous on this gown! You're so lucky. I wish I had an occasion to wear something like this!" Sylphiel said wistfully as she admired the bridal dress on its hanger.  
  
"Sylphiel, you can have it to cut down to your size when this is through, if it survives unstained and unripped. Gladly." Gourry assured her and gave her a comforting pat on the back. He sighed as Lina and Sylphiel tugged a slip over his head and fastened stockings over his legs. Next the mercenary submitted to being attired in the elegant, full skirted bridal dress. A high collar hid his adam's apple and the long sleeves the muscles of his arms. Gloves concealed his calloused hands. Sylphiel sat him down, and, bridal magazine held by Lina, arranged Gourry's tresses to match the picture the shrine maiden had found.  
  
"I smell like a florist shop with all these flowers in my hair," the swordsman grumped.  
  
"Well, you should. You're a beautiful bride, you know! Not a bricklayer!" Lina said as she thwacked him on the shoulder with her hand.  
  
"All these pins holding these curls and rolls of hair make my scalp hurt." he complained, reaching one of his hands towards his hair.  
  
"Stop that! You'll ruin it!" Sylphiel squealed and thwacked his other shoulder. "Now the make-up, Lina."   
  
"First a skin moistener...Now foundation for fair skin... Gourry, you have such a soft, flawless complexion! Here's powder. Don't you dare sneeze, Jellyfish! Some blush... Sylphiel, which eyeshadow?"  
  
"Try the light honeymoon on his lids and just a touch of the light cocoa on the crease. The baby blue should do for eyeliner...Here's the mascara."  
  
"Don't you just hate the way guys can have such long lashes. Don't blink, Baka! Ok, stop clenching your teeth and o-o-pen your mouth a little so I can put this lipliner and lipstick on you."  
  
"If I'm gonna wear a veil, why all this stuff on my face?" Gourry inquired irritably.  
  
"Because we like putting it on you. So there," Lina rejoined. "You look mah-velous, Dahling. Now the veil. Ta-daa!"  
  
"Yes, indeed, you make a goddess-like bride, Gourry Dear," Xelloss commented. The women then tackled the mazoku's make-up, which he seemed to enjoy. Sylphiel found applying mascara to Xelloss' open amethyst demonic eyes rather disconcerting, though, and had to ask Lina to finish them.  
  
"How do I look?" Xelloss had on a green satin A-line dress with sleeves puffed at the shoulders and which came down to his elbows. Green elbow length gloves, green pumps, and a broad brimmed matching hat completed the ensemble.  
  
"Devilishly lovely," replied Lina. "Uh, uh, Yoghurt for Brains, you can't wear the Blast Blade with this dress!" she yelped as Gourry reached for the sword belt.  
  
"But I'll need a weapon for on the way there and might need it once we arrive," he protested.  
  
"How about this? It should be an old friend." Xelloss held out a familiar looking mallet/hammer.  
  
"Argh! That thing again!" Gourry yelled in dismay.  
  
"You just never learned to use it properly. Here, apply your will to it like you did with the Sword of Light, aim through the door at that dead tree over there, and say "lightning."  
  
Reluctantly Gourry took the hammer again and did as he was told. Xelloss held his hands over his ears. A jagged burst of energy leapt from the hammer, and a loud, sharp clap of thunder followed the destruction of the tree.  
  
After everybody in the block, with the exception of startled Gourry and smug Xelloss, picked themselves up from off the ground, Lina and Sylphiel gathered around the stunned, now red-haired, swordsman.   
  
"Where did you get THAT, Xelloss!?" Lina exclaimed.  
  
"Eh, a fellow trickster in another universe borrowed it from his brother to lend to me, and, no, Lina, you can't have it," was all Xelloss would say. "It should fit nicely in your bridal garter, Gourry, just like Filia wears her mace. Now, it'll probably be easiest if I transport Gourry and myself by means of the astral plane to the Elmekia Empire border. We'll then find out where Titanos is. If necessary, we'll use the astral plane again until we are a few hours away from him, then rent a carriage and send word ahead we are coming."  
  
"And how will the carriage and messenger be paid for?" Lina asked skeptically.  
  
"My master always makes sure I have plenty cash on hand and a current Monster Card account. It'll be no problem."  
  
"In the meantime, Lina, why don't you and I return to Seyruun. If more forces have to be gathered that would be the best base," Sylphiel suggested.  
  
"Good idea, " Lina agreed.  
  
Before she could say another word, Xelloss grabbed a reluctant Gourry's hand and phased out of sight with him.  
  
"Bye, Lina!" Gourry managed to shout as they disappeared.  
  
"Gourry!" Lina shrieked back, but he was gone. She shrugged and took up the Blast Blade. "Come on, Sylphiel. To kill some time, let's go punish some bandits for their evil ways. Enough of girly stuff." But Sylphiel noticed the Bandit Killer's eyes were glistening with unshed tears. Xelloss' making off with Gourry was just too close a reminder of another mazoku's vanishing with the swordsman.  
  
Sylphiel put a hand on her friend's shoulder and said to comfort her, "Gourry may be dense, but he knows to watch out with Xelloss. Let's go have some fun before we return to Seyruun." Then they both took off for bandit hunting. In her heart Sylphiel may not have approved of Lina's favorite revenue pursuit, but she knew it was the best way to keep the sorceress distracted while Gourry was not there.  
  
******************************************************  
  
At the Empire's border, Xelloss and Gourry discovered Titanos and his cohorts were actually only a few hours away. Xelloss found a messenger to carry the news that "Lina Inverse," having finally ditched her "protector" and accompanied by a bridesmaid, was eagerly rushing to the arms of Titanos.  
  
Gourry stood morosely in front of the carriage rental office. He was very uncomfortable in the bridal getup, especially with the shoes, which hurt terribly. "I didn't get a chance to kiss Lina good-bye," he whispered dejectedly.  
  
Xelloss smacked his lips and thought, "Mmm, ummm, traveling with Jellyfish Brains is gonna be like having continuous intravenous feeding," but only commented quietly in Gourry's ear, "If you had kissed her, you would have smeared your lipstick."  
  
As he saddled his horse, the messenger, a tall, blue-haired fellow with a hefty build, leered at the veiled swordsman. "Dang, for a Zephilian girl, that Lina Inverse looks as sturdy as any of our hearty Elmekian lasses! Hey, Sweetie, how's about lifting that veil and giving us a gander of your lovely face?"  
  
In answer, Gourry landed a punch on the man's chin that sent the fellow over the rented carriage and thirty feet into the nearby stable, through the walls of three horse stalls and into to the rump of a disgruntled mule, which promptly kicked him back through the holes. He landed back outside and ate dirt.  
  
"Wow, she's even as strong as our Elmekian girls! What a catch! That Titanos is one lucky guy!" the messenger exclaimed as he groggily mounted his horse and rode away. [Elmekia, where the women are strong, the men goodlooking and the children above savage.]  
  
An hour later found the two "women" comfortably riding along the road to the Elmekia Empire's capital in the rather nice carriage. "As befits the beautiful and powerful sorceress, Lina Inverse," declared Xelloss. "Well, Gourry, now that we're alone for a while, tell me, just what the heck are you?"  
  
"Huh? A mercenary swordsman, now it seems a baron."  
  
"No, my dear Gourry. I mean what type of being."  
  
"A human being, that's all," Gourry responded innocently.  
  
"I was there when you bounded after the Lord of Nightmares. No mere human being could have followed the Mother of All the way you did and survived the Sea of Chaos. You finally flew and penetrated several of the Lord's defenses. I saw you. Your friends could not follow. You brought Lina back. In your fight against Gaav and Valgaav, you took the same punishment as the chimera and yet suffered only the same damage as he. You are not "just" human. I repeat, what are you?"  
  
"Just an anime character?"  
  
Xelloss shook his head and sank back in his seat in defeat. "Guess it'll remain a secret."  
  
At the huge and ornate golden gates of Goroda, trumpets announced the arrival of the great sorceress, "Lina Inverse" and her bridesmaid. Titanos was there to greet them. The Overworlder was twice Gourry's size. His eyes were black shining pits and his magenta hair spouted rather like a fountain from a winged pudding bowl of a helmet on his head. A mole was centered in the middle of each cheek. A small magenta goatee grew on his chin. He was clad in white armor, and the Sword of Light hung on a golden belt around his waist. Gourry nearly sprained an ankle due to the pumps he wore as he disembarked from the carriage. Xelloss feigned a coughing spell to cover up Gourry's lowly muttered curse and, grabbing the "bride's" arm, helped "her" keep "her" balance.  
  
"Oh, dear," Xellos tittered. "We've had such a trying journey in our haste to arrive here, the poor darling is weak with fatigue." Titanos held out his arm to "Lina." Xelloss surreptitiously poked "her" in the ribs. A slight breeze lifted the veil a little, and with a glare flashing at the mazoku, "she" took the proffered arm.  
  
Titanos started in surprise. "What's this?" he rumbled. "I thought Lina Inverse had red eyes."  
  
"Ah...it's a new thing. Lina has never liked the natural color of her eyes and is wearing tinted lens that change the color. There's a sorcerer in Seyruun that specializes in 'em. She thought you would find the blue more attractive, and she does so want to please you," Xelloss reassured the bridegroom. Gourry had the sense to pat the arm of the Overworlder and pretend to simper in adoration.  
  
"Are you too tired, my dear, to attend the repast we have hurriedly prepared for you?" questioned Titanos.  
  
"Oh, no," replied the "bride" in a falsetto. "Food and drink would help revive me."  
  
"Then let us feast and drink to our joining!" declared the Overworlder.  
  
Three chickens, half a roast boar, a platter of mashed potatoes, a wok of vegetables and tofu stir fry, a huge salad bowl, an entire tomato aspic, five loaves of rye bread, a gallon of borscht, two pies, a cake, and one celery stalk disappeared under the veil as did half a keg of ale and two bottles worth of red wine.  
  
Titanos look aghast at the appetite of the "delicate girl."  
  
"The poor girl was so excited and nervous at the prospect of marriage with someone who would truly appreciate her that she starved herself from the time she heard of your proposal. She is only making up for her lost meals," Xelloss explained.  
  
"Ah, yes. Now I remember being told that Lina Inverse has a famous capacity for food intake," Titanos recalled. "But I didn't know just how enormous it was. If she has just as large an appetite in bed..."  
  
Poor Gourry gulped, gave a high pitched giggle and turned his head. "Please, I'm just an innocent girl," he protested, closed his eyes and lowered his head in distress. This was taken for shyness by theOverworlder.  
  
"Well, my lovely, I'll make you a wedding gift that will perhaps cure your shyness. I shall make you a present of this whole world by the time I'm done!"  
  
"And how will you accomplish that?" Xelloss asked.  
  
"By my powers as an Overworlder and with the Sword of Light!"  
  
"Oh, my protector used to carry that, but he only used it at full power when possessed by the Dark Lord Phibrizo and when we defeated Dark Star. It was taken away from here by another Overworld guy, who had this kinda spikey pink hair. I haven't seen the Sword in such a long while. May I touch it? It is such an old friend," Gourry pleaded coquettishly, drawing on years of Lina's example.  
  
"You, dearest, may even hold it," Titanos said fondly and laid the sword across "Lina's" lap.  
  
Xelloss opened his gleaming amethyst eyes and grinned evilly. Gourry seized the hilt and drew it from the scabbard. He glanced at Xelloss, and his eyes took on the hard, fierce, elf-like look they usually assumed when he fought. He threw off the veil and yelled, "Light come forth!" One outcome of his possession by Phibrizo was he now in fact did know how to use it at full power when he had to. Xelloss lifted his right index finger and pointed a potent spell at the sword to augment its power even more. The astonished wedding guests gasped in amazement and fear as Gourry sliced the head of Titanos off and with another slash brought the Sword down through the Overworlder's body.  
  
The Sword, combined with the amazing speed of the swordsman, began to cut down the enemies who drew weapons. Xelloss, transforming his fan back into his staff, added his support to Gourry's efforts.  
  
"It's Thanksgiving time for mazoku in Goroda!" the Trickster Priest sang joyfully as he fed on the fear, hatred, and despair of the defeated. "Boy, am I getting stuffed! Ba-raap!" And the burp broadcast a destructive miasma that dispatched a few more enemy fighters.  
  
Gourry was fortunately facing the other way. He chose to use the Sword of Light still, rather than take one of the regular blades from one of the defeated. There were some trolls and lesser demons among the wedding guests. In addition, he knew enough of Xelloss' nature not fully to trust the monster. Indeed, he deflected and absorbed a couple of "errant" beams of high energy sent his way from the mazoku during the fight. "Whoopsie!" Xelloss said the first time, and "Well, you can't blame a mazoku for trying," the second time.  
  
Not all at the feast were in favor of Titanos, though. They were there out of fear, if guests, and compulsion, if prisoners. When the battle had first started, various weapons appeared from under skirts, tunics, robes, and footwear and were used to quell those who truly were following the Overworlder and to release prisoners. Finally the last of Titanos' adherents either had been killed, had surrendered, or had fled. Gourry stood panting in the midst of the carnage. The veil was long gone, and his hair had tumbled out of its elaborate arrangement. The hated shoes were history and the stockings ripped, but somehow the dress was still in perfect condition. He always was thoughtful of Sylphiel.  
  
As one of the liberated prisoners cleaned a sword he had snatched from one of the fallen early in the fight, the man effusively exclaimed, "Oh, thank you, thank you, Miss Inverse, for saving us from certain destruction!"  
  
"I am NOT Lina Inverse! I'm not even a girl!" growled Gourry in embarrassment. "I am Gourry Gabriev. This getup was only a disguise to fool Titanos so I could get the Sword of Light out of his hands."  
  
"Whatever. It does look good on you, though."  
  
"Argh!" Gourry slapped the palms of his hands on his face. "I didn't bring my regular clothes with me! I'm gonna be stuck going to my family's home in this!"  
  
"M'Lord," a tall, handsome woman shyly interrupted, "My poor, murdered husband had your kind of build. If you don't think it beneath you to wear used clothing and boots, I'll check his wardrobe to see if there is anything like what you are accustomed to wearing."  
  
Gourry remembered some of his long-unused training as a child of nobility as he addressed her. "Thank you, M'Lady." Then his years in armies, mercenary bands, and Lina's company re-asserted themselves. "I really want to get out of this girly crap," he replied gratefully and described his usual outfit.  
  
After the woman had rushed off, Gourry asked, "Is there anyone of the royal family left alive? Somebody with some brains is going to be needed to rebuild our government."  
  
"Many of the court feigned submission to save their skins, and the crown prince fled and hid with several of the family," one man informed the tired swordsman.  
  
"Good. Guess a message should be sent around the Empire to let him know Titanos is no more."  
  
Several of the survivors volunteered to start that particular ball rolling.  
  
The woman returned with, wonders of wonders, blue trousers and shirt exactly like Gourry's normal clothes and socks and boots as well.  
  
Gourry removed the dress and folded it carefully, but with his back to onlookers, he ripped off the pantaloons, destroyed stockings, and garter belt. After he had tugged the trousers over the tiny bikini briefs, the slip and bra rapidly joined the rest of the discarded ensemble. Once fully dressed in familiar garments and boots, he picked up the magical hammer from where he had put it down before changing clothes. "Guess you'd better return this to your trickster friend. I didn't really need it."  
  
Xelloss, in the meantime had taken the winged helmet off the severed head of Titanos. He looked at Gourry standing there with the hammer in his hand and long hair about his face, looked at the helmet, and Gourry again. The Trickster Priest shrugged to himself and thought, "Nah. Marvel Comics has already done that," and then tossed the helmet aside. "Right. Give me that hammer, and I'll return it to Loki so he can unborrow it." After taking the mallet, Xelloss phased away, leaving only his broad-brimmed green hat behind.  
  
That left Gourry musing over his changed social rank and wondering how the Sword of Light could be returned to the Overworld. The bystanders could almost see smoke come out of his ears as he tried to think what to do. "Well, I guess I better head out to my family home and figure out this baron thing. Oh, man, responsibility! Thank goodness I have Lina to be the smarts of the operation. I hope she's ready to settle down now that she really will have a castle and servants to boss around. I'd like to get rid of this sword before I see her, though, and remove temptation."  
  
Just then the air shimmered, and who should appear but Sirius.  
  
"Oh, wow! You're that pink-haired guy from the Otherworld! Great timing!" Gourry shouted in glee.  
  
"The color is mauve and the name is Sirius," the Overworlder informed the swordsman in annoyance.  
  
"Just how serious is your name?" Gourry asked.   
  
"That is my name, Sirius."  
  
"Seriously?"  
  
"No, Sirius. S-i-r-i-u-s"  
  
"Oh. Sir Ius."  
  
"Stop making a joke of my name."  
  
"Oh, No more Sirius conversation?"  
  
"Enough already with the name. Well, it seems, as I look around and see the body of the renegade Titanos over there and the Sword of Light in your hand, that I have nothing further to do but return the Sword of Light to its proper place with the other weapons of power. I'm sorry it took so long to track down the thief. He had us fooled for a while with a false show of meekness and a fake Sword of Light replacement. We only recently discovered the theft when the weapons were being cleaned and his wife reported him missing."  
  
"His wife?! He wanted to marry Lina!"  
  
"Eh, the wife's a bit of a shrew and has let herself go the past few hundred years. She was very disappointed Titanos was still only a junior officer after seven hundred years and constantly ragged him about it. We thought nothing of his disappearance until we found the fake Sword."  
  
Gourry shook his head in amazement. Thinking of his own wife, he looked down and then bashfully at Sirius before requesting, "Before you return to your world, could you please do me a big, big favor and phase over to Seyruun to let Lina know the mission has been accomplished successfully? I think she was headed there, but I'm not sure. I have to go to my family home, and I'd like her to join me there as soon as she can. Oh, and give this dress to Sylphiel, a friend of ours?"  
  
Sirius at first didn't know if he should be offended by being treated as a messenger boy. He was an extremely powerful god, after all. But a look at Gourry's eager, innocent face convinced him the swordsman meant no insult. Besides which, Sirius thought, he did owe the guy something for dispatching Titanos to the Sea of Chaos and recovering the Sword of Light. "Alright," he sighed, and, receiving the Sword of Light and dress from Gourry, zapped away.  
  
"Thank you, Mr. Surreal!" Gourry yelled as the Overworlder faded away. "Well, time to face the homefront and prepare for the arrival of the Baroness Gabriev. Oh, crap, I hope I can get the Blast Blade away from her!" Picking up a likely looking sword left among the discarded weapons from the fight and testing the blade's balance, Gourry set off down the road to his future. 


	3. Part 3

Continuations usually don't equal the originals, but since a few people have asked for more to this silly story, I've yielded. That may be unfortunate since it's rather plotless and sillier yet. If you liked the original and don't want to spoil the impression, skip this addition. If you only like angsty, sensible plots, avoid the rest of this story like a Dragon Slave.   
  
******************************************************************  
  
That is, Gourry would have been on his way to his future, if the woman who had given him her deceased husband's clothing and boots hadn't placed herself in front of him and suggested, "My Lord, wouldn't you like to rest and clean up a bit before you leave? I could scrub your back,... and my bed is large and comfortable." She ran her hand over his shoulder and down his arm and, coyly looking up at him, she winked. She was very attractive with her dark-hair and full-figure. When she had fetched the clothing and boots, she had changed her dark, high-necked robes to a little rose silk number draped low over her breasts and clinging to her hips.   
  
"As is MY bed," another beautiful woman, a blonde, exclaimed as she clung to his other arm.   
  
"And mine!" cackled a heavily made-up and lavishly jeweled crone, who used her hips to bump the other two away.   
  
"Mine is big and comfy, too, Doll," simpered a slender, silk and fur adorned young man sashaying up to the startled swordsman.   
  
"I'm married!" bellowed Gourry.   
  
"So?" answered the raven-haired widow in a bored tone and with half-lidded, bedroom eyes. She fingered his collar.   
  
"So?" echoed the other three one after another.   
  
Gourry dodged a hand reaching for his butt. "My wife is the REAL Lina Inverse! Her temper is literally explosive, VERY explosive!" he yelped and started to run away as several sets of hands reached out to grab and fondle him. Again, his way was blocked, this time by a large, gray-bearded man in rich maroon and gold brocade robes trimmed in fur.   
  
"Oh, no! Is everyone here THAT horny?" Gourry thought to himself.   
  
The man, however, addressed Gourry with "Lord Gabriev, the grateful citizens here wish to reward you for saving us from the foreign tyrant. Please accept this small token of our appreciation." He then handed Gourry a cantaloupe-sized pouch of gold coins and jewels and walked quickly away before Gourry could fully stammer out his thanks or hand the pouch back.   
  
A trip to what was left of the market purchased him more clothes, pricey gifts for Lina and his mother, toiletries, and a carry bag to put them in. Needless to say, he also bought plenty of snacks. He could have bought a horse, but after so many years of walking, it never occurred to him to do so. Shanks mare was good enough for him.   
  
While being propositioned and doing his shopping, no one commented on his appearance, and thus Gourry only remembered to wash his make-up off and remove the earrings after he was attacked by the Burning Spears Gang, who mistook him for a hot chick.   
  
It had been rather late in the day when he left the city of his triumph behind. He just couldn't take any more possible amorous advances from the thankful, no matter how luxurious the accommodations may have been or bountiful the comestibles. In addition, he knew from his mercenary experience that without him there to claim and solidfy his position, his barony would be a temptation for annexation by other lords. As even the nearest village was a goodly distance away, he was forced to camp out in the cold, clear night. Facing his campfire and the rabbit roasting on a stick over it, he sat on a large stone, his head down and his hair veiling his face. He sadly missed the warmth of his bride and not just that of her conversation.   
  
"Well, looky here, mates. Here's a lovely, lonely lady. What say we help her display her sweet charms in a better setting?" the leader oozed as he swaggered into the light of the campfire.   
  
Evil chuckles were the response from the gang, who were your standard large, hairy bandits, but surprisingly well dressed. Gourry looked up in annoyance.  
  
While Gourry then remembered the earrings and yanked them off, another added, "Yeah, my pretty, we want to feed you some fine cuisine and booze and show off the exquisite interior of our hide-out, especially the bedrooms." More raucous laughter followed.   
  
Being matchless as a swordsman, Gourry soon extinguished the Burning Spears. With ashen faces, several of them decided life as celibate priests might not be such a bad idea after all.   
  
As Gourry re-sheathed his sword, a group of five, well-trimmed and gel-haired men clapped their hands in appreciation. Like Gourry, they were tall, blond and muscular, but, unlike him, they carried themselves with an air of haughty superiority.   
  
"Well done, well done," the man who appeared to be the leader exclaimed. "You are obviously well qualified with your superior skills and looks to be one of us, the Barber Aryans."   
  
"Uh, thanks, I think," responded Gourry, dumping some water from his water bottle onto a handkerchief and wiping his face.   
  
"But Helmut, first we must cut off and style his hair, ja?"   
  
"Of course, or he couldn't become a true Barber Aryan!"   
  
Five pairs of sissors and five combs flashed into view in their hands.   
  
Gourry clutched his tresses and remonstrated, "Uh, uh. The hair can't be cut! It's a LONG family tradition. It identifies us as Gabriev warriors."   
  
Gourry could move extremely fast, but the grooming experts could move with demonic speed. Scissors flashed to clip a couple locks behind the swordsman's ears before Gourry could evade them. As the partially shorn swordsman continued to back away, he tripped backwards and sat down with a thump on a large rock.  
  
"Now let us style the rest," the stylists demanded, clicking their scissors open and shut. Reaching for more hair, their jaws suddenly dropped in surprise.  
  
The shortened locks had rapidly sprouted back to their former length.  
  
They cut more off a little faster. The tresses regenerated. Another frantic clip, clip of the scissors took place, and then there was a storm of flying golden hair littering the campsite. Shrieks of frustrated fury came from the scissors, comb and spray bottle wielders as they snip-snipped, and each lock defiantly sprung back to its former length. Finally the men collapsed in exhaustion, and Gourry sat in placid, hirsute triumph.  
  
"How...?" Helmut whispered.  
  
Gourry looked around carefully, shrugged, and put an index finger to his lips, "It's a secret," he confided. "A family one, and a darn good trait, too, considering how often Lina's fireballs destroy it."  
  
"Lina who?" one of the men asked tremulously.  
  
"My wife, Lina. Lina Gabriev, nee Inverse, the sorcery genius."  
  
The five men grew paler than their fair skin normally was and ran shrieking into the woods.  
  
Gourry blinked in wonder that they were so afraid of his wife's reputation that they didn't want to be around him either. Then a smell of burning flesh and hair reached his nostrils. He grabbed the end of the spit the rabbit was on and blew off the burning clippings that had managed to land on his supper in the Barber Aryans vain attempt to lop off his locks. "Ugh, I hope my dinner isn't ruined! There's only one kind of hare that's good in the mouth!"  
  
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Sirius realized in mid-phase that he wasn't sure where the heck Lina was. But since the Dra-Mata was the strongest sorcerer in this particular universe, it wasn't hard to find her through her very strong aura, which reeked of magic. She and Sylphiel hadn't left yet for Seyruun after their successful bandit hunt the day Gourry and Xelloss took off for the Elmekia Empire. Thus Sirius found them at the same inn. Lina, of course, was stuffing her face, along with Mikey. Sylphiel nibbled daintily at her grilled chicken salad. Lina found it wasn't as satisfying fighting for food with the Elmekian cousin as with Gourry. Mikey, would start to snatch something but then pause with a guilty and longing look at Sylphiel and close his mitts on empty space.   
  
Sylphiel's calm enjoyment of her meal, despite the feeding frenzy going on around her, was broken by the sudden appearance of the giant, ahem, mauve, not pink-haired, god between her and Lina. The shrine maiden yelped, and the remainder of her salad went flying. The Elmekian reached for his sword, food dangling from his lips. Lina just looked up at the Overworlder, swallowed, and said calmly, "Oh, it's you, Sirius. Relax, guys; he's just a powerful god from another world and a friend. So what's the problem this time, big fella?   
  
Mikey screwed up his face in thought, "He doesn't look like a dog, although he could come from the stars."   
  
Lina elbowed Mikey hard in the ribs. "No bad jokes with god spelled backwards and the constellation, please. Geez, you ARE a Gabriev."   
  
Sirius removed the balsamic vinaigrette coated lettuce, chicken, and crispy tortilla strips from his face and hair and replied, "Problem's been solved by Gourry. Titanos is slain, and I have the Gorun Nova again. As to why I'm here, Gourry asked me to give this gown to someone named Sylphiel and to tell you to meet him at his family home in Elmekia"   
  
Sylphiel spoke up quietly, "I'm Sylphiel. Sorry about the salad, Lord Sirius."   
  
As he wiped away the spray from Sylphiel's sibilants, he replied, "Ah, yes. I guess I rather startled you. My apologies should be given, not yours. Anyway, this is for you," and he handed her the package containing the wedding gown. Sylphiel unwrapped it and squealed. "Oh, it's in perfect shape! Gourry is so kind, and so are you, Lord Sirius, for delivering it to me. Thank you! I must go pack it with my things. Please excuse me!" She happily gathered up the dress in her arms and ran off to her room.   
  
Lina made a wry face and slurped some beef stew before asking, "Ah, Sirius, did Gourry tell you how to get to his family's domain or do you know?"   
  
"I'm afraid not," was the answer to both questions.   
  
Lina swore. "It figures the idiot would forget to send instructions on how to get there." Her teeth tore viciously into a turkey drumstick.   
  
"Oh, but I know the way," Sylphiel cheerfully piped up as she returned. "I wouldn't mind taking you there."   
  
Mikey coughed and spoke up. "It's a good thing I decided not to leave when the other fellows did. I can accompany you to make sure you arrive in one piece. (Obviously the Gabrievs were big on the protection business.)   
  
The god waved farewell and phased away.   
  
Lina turned to Sylphiel, "Have you written to your uncle yet? He was very worried about you."   
  
"Oh, dear, I really have been remiss! Poor Uncle!" Sylphiel cried in dismay. "I'll write him a letter right now explaining where I've been and where we're going." She dashed away, and Lina finished off the rest of the food on the table, including what was left of Sylphiel's salad.   
  
Once they were packed and ready to go, Sylphiel and Lina batted their eyes charmingly at Mikey. Resigned to his fate, he paid their inn bills before all three left for the Gabriev baronial home.   
  
A few days and several destroyed bandit hideouts later:   
  
"Damnation, that was the most tastefully decorated bandit hideout I've ever seen!" exclaimed Lina as she shifted her sack of loot from one shoulder to another.   
  
"Yes, who would have thought such ugly ruffians would have that lovely an encampment and such exquisite food?" Sylphiel agreed.   
  
"'Liberated' food always tastes better, doesn't it? Good thing we arrived just as they were about to sit down to dinner," Lina gloated with a satisfied smile decorating her face.   
  
Picking his teeth with a silver toothpick, Mikey, who was following behind the women, added "The salmon with olive and caper tapenade over garlic risotto and garnished with sautéed french beans sure was scrumptious, but I didn't care for that foie gras and caviar on a cracker thingy I snagged when we attacked. The boursin spread wasn't bad, though."   
  
"That's all right, Mikey Dear. Not everyone's taste is the same," Sylphiel reassured him with a giggle. She stumbled a little. "Whoops, I think I shouldn't have indulged in that almondy liqueur after having wine with the fish. The cappuccino should have been enough to top off the meal."   
  
Mikey extended his large, muscular arm to steady her. "Will you be alright, Sylphiel? Do you want me to carry you?"   
  
Sylphiel blushed and shyly replied, "No need, thank you. I'll be fine." But she didn't release his arm. Lina turned away from them and rolled her eyes. She then became disgusted with herself at her inability to suppress a sigh of longing. The budding relationship between the buff, tough warrior and the shrine maiden reminded her how much she missed Gourry.   
  
An Elmekian lord's flyer she had discovered in the head bandit's personal den also worried her. It spoke of recruiting mercenaries to invade a northern barony supposedly recently bereft of a lord. The only remaining male heir was reputed to have disappeared years ago with a family treasure. The writer, a Lord Martegor, claimed his right to the barony based on his marriage to the eldest sister of the late baron.   
  
A glint in a bush then caught Lina's eye. She looked closer, drew back in surprise. "Huh, it seems like this bird's nest is made of gold!" she said in astonishment, and, after taking a closer examination, she then looked up in the trees. "Yeah, golden hair. Wow! There are golden nests all over the forest!" She pondered a moment and then snickered. "Heh, heh, I bet Gourry's been this way, and some poor suckers tried to cut his hair."   
  
One thing that still puzzled her was how fast his hair regenerated despite fireballs, Mono Volts, and other destructive spells. When asked about it, he had only replied "I don't know. It's just a family trait, a secret that we've forgotten, I guess." Further questioning only made her more frustrated and him fried yet again.   
  
Sylphiel looked inquisitively at her, but Mikey just chuckled, and his many butter-yellow braids swung back and forth as he nodded in smug agreement.   
  
The sight of the bright hair all around her made Lina's longing and worry for her mate even stronger. Her patience, or rather her lack of it, was famous, and true to her character, she suddenly shook in frustration and yelled, "It's taking too frigging long to walk! Sylphiel, grab Mikey. Let's Ray Wing it for a while before it gets too dark."   
  
This was both a command to Sylphiel and invocation of the spell. Up Lina flew. Or started to. The big, muscular warrior had turned girlishly pale and grabbed Lina's ankle. "No, no! NO flying!" he managed to squeak out and started trembling.   
  
Hovering like a tethered balloon, Lina slapped her forehead with her free hand and closed her eyes in dismay. "Oh, good gods, not another Gabriev afraid of heights!" She kicked Mikey in the face with her free foot and landed back on the ground.   
  
"It's not fear of heights. I do enjoy climbing things like mountains and trees. We Gabrievs just like to be well rooted on the ground, in touch with something solid when we're up high," Mikey said in his defense as he rubbed his injured nose and forehead.  
  
"You're saying you're a bunch of plants? Listen, Cousin-in-law, how about a SOLID fireball if you don't let us pick you up in a Ray Wing?" Lina threatened. "We can give Sylphiel a 'show and tell' explanation about Gabriev hair."   
  
The massive blond cowered before the petite sorceress, who held her precious sack of loot in one hand and her other in the 'loaded' position. He wincingly agreed to Lina's wishes and shut his eyes tightly as both sorceresses took hold of him under his arms and lifted off into the clear, early evening sky. 


	4. Part 4

**********************************************************************  
  
For the most part, Gourry's journey home was uneventful. That is, if you didn't take into account the three lower level demons that met their death at the end of his sword, or the children he saved from that burning building back in Maloyselo, and there were those bandit gangs he ended up vanquishing. He didn't even want to think about all the rescued women he had to fend off at every turn. Finally, after days on the road, he reached his ancestral home.  
  
At the beginning of the trip the earrings had come off and another good washing of his face in a stream removed the remainder of the make-up. The henna in his hair, however, took a while to fade. The half-blind, old guard glowering through the bars in the castle portcullis wasn't ready to acknowledge him until a final, good shampooing at the nearby creek revealed he was, indeed, as the guard said, the "hair apparent." When he returned to attempt another entry into his home, the frail guard rapidly drew up the portcullis, grabbed him around the middle, and picked him up in an enormous bear hug while shouting, "Little Gourry has returned at last! Little Gourry has returned at last!" All of a sudden he let go of Gourry, who fell painfully on his behind. The old man made a deep bow and apologized, "Oh, dear, dear, it's Lord Gabriev now. Forgive me, please, my lord. I got carried away in excitement."  
  
Gourry got to his feet and rubbed his posterior. "That's ok, Jonche. This lord business is so new, I forget about it myself."   
  
As he stooped to pick up his travel bag, a couple female human missiles knocked the golden warrior down on his abused rear end again. "Gougou! Gougou! You're back at last!" And they covered him with hugs and kisses, although their armor on hips, chest, back and shoulders caused some awkwardness and discomfort.   
  
"If it isn't my twerpy little sisters all grown up!" Gourry laughed and hugged them back as he managed to sit up. "Wow! Have you girls blossomed! Uh, oh, Lina'll be jealous."  
  
"Lina?" questioned the younger, Lourry, a brown-haired lass with big hazel eyes.   
  
"Moron," the other, a red head with sparkling, green eyes, remonstrated, "Don't you remember Sylphiel told us Gougou married that powerful sorceress dragons are afraid of?" She dug her elbow hard into her sister's ribs.  
  
"Ummmm. Nope."  
  
"Hey, I thought you two were going to be sorceresses, too. What's with the armor? Last time I saw you were all pink and frilly and abusing the family dogs with experimental spells," Gourry asked.  
  
"Oh, we're still studying magic," the eldest, Jassy, replied and patted a strangely shaped holster next to her hip. "Mom thought we should be able to protect ourselves during 'that time of month', what with the various attacks from the north increasing since you left. She had your old swordmaster instruct us in swordplay and other martial arts. And ya know what, we liked it. Can we spar later, huh, huh? Puh-leeze?"  
  
"More attacks from the north?"  
  
"Yeah, you know intermittent bunches of trolls and low-level mazuko have always been a problem, but now there are more bandit gangs than those kinds of guys. They seem to have fled from the countries outside the Empire, saying something about a bandit-killer making life tough for them."  
  
Gourry was fairly sure of the identity of the bandit-killer, but before he could voice anything, the lower voice of a more mature woman called out, "Gourry! My darling!" A tall, stately matron with long blonde hair held back by a wide headband, ran up to him with open arms. She was followed by a handful of other women and gray bearded, wrinkled old men.  
  
"Momma! Cousin Dora! Auntie Nora! Auntie Flora! Cousin Zourka! Cousin Rourra! Uncles!" he managed to exclaim as the women hugged and kissed him and the old men slapped him on the back. His mother and some of the others wiped away tears as they filled him in on the losses of the family due to Titanos' reign of terror. Gourry tried to console them but ended up weeping again himself. He may have gained the barony, but at the cost of many of his kin. No matter how terrible their faults and how horribly they may have treated him as a boy, his brothers' deaths especially cut him deeply. However, whatever guilt he may have had because he and the Sword of Light had not been there when the family needed them, was mitigated by the loving welcome he now received.   
  
"Where's your bride, baby boy?" Cousin Dora queried as she honked into a lacy handkerchief and tried to lighten the mood.  
  
Gourry responded, "She should be on her way, but I'm not sure when she'll arrive."  
  
"We'll hold off on any baronial ceremonies until the new baroness arrives," his mother reassured him. "I hope Mikey returns soon. His friends already have. We may need all the young warriors we can assemble if that Titanos shows up."  
  
"I guess I got here before any of the messengers. Mom, that guy is dead and the Sword of Light was taken back to the Overworld."  
  
"Young Gregour Gabriev, don't tell me you let our precious family heirloom go again!" quavered old Aunt Nora, and she shook her cane at him.  
  
"Auntie, our family nearly murdered one another trying to claim it after Father died. When I was under the control of the Hellmaster, I nearly killed the woman I love; and in the hands of a half dragon, half mazuko it almost destroyed the world. Father's finding our family treasure in the ancient barrel of tofu in that hidden storeroom when he was young was a curse as well as a blessing, although I'll admit it did help save the world several times."   
  
The old woman sniffed, "Don't get uppity with me, young man, although you may be the Baron now. Remember, I've diapered your naked little behind!"  
  
His mother quickly interjected, "You must fill us in on your adventures yourself over a little snack while the cooks prepare a welcoming feast. Sylphiel and some wandering minstrels have given us some news of your doings, but it will be better to hear about them from you first hand. Or would you rather relax in the sauna first?"  
  
In answer, Gourry was a blue and yellow blur as he dashed to the kitchen.  
  
"Silly me!" the woman admonished herself with a snort. "As if a Gabriev wouldn't put food first..."  
  
The "little snack" consisted of a platter of lutefisk, 2 platters of orca paprikash, and 4 of wild boar stroganoff. "Oh, man, it's been so-o-o long since I've had my favorite foods!" Gourry sighed in contentment and then devoured 4 logs of the cook's special apple strudel, 6 dozen gingersnaps, and 2 fruitcakes. He only ate 2 of the last because they reminded him of an entity with purple hair, and it just didn't feel right.  
  
"Lord Gabriev, you haven't eaten enough," old Mara complained. "Only 2 platters of the paprikash and 4 of the stroganoff. You used to eat more of my desserts, too. Don't you like my cooking anymore? Were you spoiled by all that foreign slop? You must have every one of these hazelnut tortes to keep up your strength." 3 tortes, 10 inches in diameter were placed in front of the blond baron.  
  
"I guess I'm missing Lina," he acknowledged, and, feeling guilty for making the long-time family retainer unhappy, polished off the tortes.  
  
From across the table, his mother sat beaming at him. "I'm so glad one of my boys finally married. Maybe your father will have some descendents after all."  
  
Gourry choked, and Mara whacked him across the back with a large spoon.  
  
The Baroness Mother continued, "From what we have heard of her, your bride is quite a warrior sorceress. Just what we need up here. You did well, son. She will be a good addition to our arsenal, especially after we teach her some of the special Gabriev women's skills."  
  
Gourry just gave her a crumb-filled grin before plunking down face first into the last empty torte dish and snoring.  
  
The women in the kitchen gently laughed, and, as she smiled fondly at him, her hands on her ample hips and her large, apron covered belly shaking with silent laughter, Mara whispered, "He hasn't changed much, has he?" She carefully lifted his head and removed the torte dish. Gourry's mother pulled a pillow out from behind her back and placed it under his head. She stroked his hair.  
  
"But there is something very different about him. I can't put my finger on what it is, but I sense something non-earthy. Oh, my! The look in his eyes is so changed from the wide-eyed innocence he used to have. From what he has related, he has endured so much horror. It's definitely made him a man now." she murmured and leaned down to kiss the back of his head.  
  
After his nap, Gourry decided to jump in the sauna to loosen up the crick in his neck from sleeping in a slumped over sitting position. His hair was in a long braid and pinned on top of his head, and he was clad in a long, green, fluffy robe. Sandals were on his feet, and, to his dismay, a servant followed carrying a large, equally fluffy towel draped over his arm. After his long years of mercenary lifestyle, having a personal servant made the swordsman uncomfortable.   
  
"I really can put my own clothes off and on, you know. I've done that for years now," he tried to persuade the man. "You've served the Gabrievs so long. Wouldn't you rather be able to go your beloved fishing and to play nine pins with your retired friends? Just enjoy life?"  
  
With tears in his eyes, the manservant informed him, "Lord Gabriev, I have always served as the Baron's valet, first to your grandfather, then your father and finally your eldest brother. If your station in life doesn't convince you to continue my service, than I'll fade quickly away without meaningful employment. I NEED to take care of you."  
  
This speech struck a chord in Gourry's soul as thought of a life without the job of 'protecting' Lina crossed his mind, and he reluctantly agreed the man could continue to 'take care of' him.  
  
Feeling refreshed from his sauna session, the baron and valet crossed the courtyard from the sauna back to the keep. Suddenly Gourry heard from above him a panicky male voice whimpering and a familiar female one exclaiming, "Geez, stop whining, you lump of gelatin. Dear gods, why do Gabrievs have to have this fear of flying?!"   
  
"No, it's fear of falling!" shot back the male.   
  
"Now, now, Mikey dear, we're just about to land," comforted a softer female voice.  
  
Gourry looked up, and a huge grin illuminated his face as Lina, Sylphiel, and a very pale, weak-kneed Mikey descended in front of him.  
  
"Lina-a-a! Hilarious gave you the message!" He hugged his mate tightly and planted a quick, loving kiss on the top of her head.  
  
"Of course he did, Jellyfish! He doesn't have a sieve for a brain like you! And it's Sirius, not Hilarious," she corrected him, but a huge smile was gleaming on her face as she gazed up at him. "Wait for it," she thought and then grimaced as he said, "What's happened that's serious, Lina? You blow up another town?"  
  
She sighed, "Gour-ry-y-y. You wanna get lucky tonight or discover another meaning to fireballs? Sirius is the name of the Overworlder you gave the Sword of Light to and the dress to deliver to Sylphiel." Gourry tilted his head to the side and started to open his mouth. "No, not another word about him! Dang, but it's c-c-cold here!" She curled herself up tightly in his arms. "Aren't you freezing dressed like that?"  
  
"Nope, I just got out of a nice steaming sauna. Lina, can I ask a question, but not about the pink guy?"   
  
"Yeah, what?" She raised her head to glare suspiciously at him.  
  
"How come you flew over the walls instead of coming in the gate?"  
  
Sylphiel giggled, "Because Mikey and I remembered Jonche. He knows us but not Lina."  
  
"Ah, yes. He does give anybody he doesn't recognize a hard time, even when they're with someone he does know," Gourry agreed and added, "I think my family would like the castle to stay intact."   
  
Lina snarled, "And what's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"N-n-nothing, Dear. Anyway, you three were lucky none of our archers took a shot at you. They must have recognized Mikey, if not Sylphiel as well," Gourry commented as he looked up at the ramparts and turrets.  
  
Just then Atanas ran up to greet them and confirmed he had, indeed, spotted who the three were. He had signaled the watch a friendly flight was incoming and asked them to spread the word to the rest of the inhabitants. In the meanwhile, Lina was scoping out the place, her eyes widening in pride and wonder. "So this is mine, er, ours!" she congratulated herself. "Hey, Gourry, where are the servants? Is that guy with the towel one of 'em? Say, Buddy, how's about some food for your new baroness?"  
  
"Well, yes, he's my valet. Uh, Lina, I think we need to have a little private talk before people arrive." Gourry led her aside while Sylphiel, Mikey, and Atanas caught up on events.   
  
"Gourry, I'm hungry, and I want to eat NOW!" but the complaint was halted as she saw a stern, commanding expression she had never seen before on his face. She regarded him with dismay.  
  
"Lina, you know one of the reasons people swear fealty to a ruler?"  
  
She squirmed and replied flippantly, "They get the crap knocked out of 'em otherwise?"  
  
Gourry sighed and shook his head. "From the time I was a toddler, it was drummed into me that people swore fealty to my family because they want protection from enemies and that we should not abuse that sworn loyalty by being over-demanding. We should lead 'em, not bleed 'em. Last thing I want to hear is "Serfs up" and face a rebellion." A sad expression of loss flitted across his visage as he moaned, "Oh, Lina, we have such responsibility now! I'm counting on your brains, good sense, and charm to keep me out of trouble."  
  
Lina hugged him again and rubbed her nose caressingly against the portion of his bared chest that showed through the opening of his robe. She agreed, "You're right. Actually I have thought about the responsibilities on the way here. It's scary. I guess I'm just nervous about seeing your family for the first time and realizing what a change in lifestyle it'll be. Plus I'm excited to see you again, especially in that nice, flesh exposing robe. Take "excited" as you will, heh, heh," she whispered the last sentence.  
  
"I thought you were hungry, Lina?" a blushing Gourry queried.  
  
"Decisions, decisions," she mused with a wrinkled brow.  
  
Further contemplation of choices was forestalled by the arrival of the now alerted inhabitants of the castle.   
  
Gourry's mother welcomed the new arrivals, "Mikey, you made it back! Sylphiel, it's good to see you again! And Lina, now you are a member of our family!"  
  
Gourry then began to introduce Lina to everyone, starting with his mother. "Lina, this is Lady Meliroon, my mother."  
  
Lina reeled back slightly in surprise and her eyes widened, but she thought to herself, "Uh, uh. That's impossible. Names aren't exclusive to a single person. I should know. There was that other sorceress calling herself Lina Inverse."   
  
"Pleased to meet you, Lady Meliroon," she stammered with a slight bow. Meliroon enveloped her in a full hug and whispered, "We'll talk more fully later."  
  
The aunties, uncles, cousins, and sisters were introduced and added their greetings. To her dismay, in addition to hugs and kisses, Lina found her cute facial cheeks receiving many affectionate pinches from the older women along with squeals of welcome, "Isn't she just the cutest thing?", "Oh, what an adorable bride you are!" and "What beautiful skin you have!"   
  
She was hard put to refrain from casting one of her famous exploding defensive spells. She finally resorted to a mock display of shyness in order to bury her face in Gourry's chest for protection. She muttered in shock to him, "Gourry, they pinched my cheeks! They PINCHED my cheeks! Like I was some sweet, little girl! Me, the infamous Lina Inverse!"  
  
"Now Gabriev," he softly reminded her. "You're lucky they like you and are not in battle mode."  
  
"Not in battle mode?" she squeaked, but just then her stomach gave a mighty roar. With that kind of an interruption an answer lost its importance.  
  
"Oh, my, the poor little, starving thing!" Mara exclaimed as she grabbed Lina's hand. "Come, my Lady Lina, you must have a snack before refreshing and preparing yourself for tonight's feast! I know Mikey will certainly want something. You, too, Sylphiel. Flying can take such energy out you, and both you girls need fattening up!"  
  
Fortunately for Mara, Lina's hunger convinced the Dra-Mata not to take offense at the last statement, and she followed the portly woman willingly. Mikey and Sylphiel looked at each other in surprise that Lina hadn't reacted in rage to Mara's comment. Drawing his robe closer about himself as the heat of the sauna and Lina's proximity wore off, Gourry just shook his head and chuckled as he followed them all to the kitchen.  
  
After her snack, Gourry showed Lina to their quarters. The valet had proved his long experience serving young lords and ladies who were relatively newly wed. The bed covers were turned down on both sides of the large, ornate wooden bed, despite it's only being late afternoon, and rose petals were strewn on it. As the man left the room, he bowed and said, "Remember you can call me to draw your baths when you're ready." Lina turned very red, and Gourry, blushing as well, stammered. "Thank you, Binly."  
  
As soon as the door closed, Lina grabbed the belt of Gourry's robe and dragged him to the bed. She straddle-jumped on him with such force he went flying backwards onto it. Lina chuckled and declared as her hands traveled in delightful ways over his body, "You know, Gourry, you really are Lord of the Schwings!" She brushed rose petals out of the way and drew the bed curtains shut. We can't see more, other than clothes shooting out of that enclosure onto the floor and those curtains moving in interesting ways. Lina must have cast a sound barrier spell, because we can't hear anything either.  
  
That evening, bathed and rosy with embarrassment, the couple seated themselves at the head table in the grand hall. With some objection from Lina, Gourry had reclaimed the Blast Blade and carried it with him, although he had not strapped it on. A warrior always had his weapon handy, even when he ate. Family and guests had awaited their arrival there in the hall before beginning the feast to welcome the couple home. Lina sat to Gourry's right and his mother to his left. The former mercenary felt great pride to see Lina looking so happy and radiant. She had all his attention, so that when a page with a huge platter of stuffed chicken offered, "Chicken breasts, my lord?" Gourry absent-mindedly replied, "No, Lina's are much bigger than that."  
  
Sylphiel sat next to Mikey, who gazed adoringly at the shrine maiden while engaging her in gentle bantering conversation. Gourry cast a quizzical glance at Lina, who happily nodded affirmatively in the other couple's direction. Gourry gave a sigh of relief and contentment.  
  
Lady Meliroon leaned forward to look past her son to Lina and inquired, "How are you holding up, Lina?" Although her hair was held in place by an elaborately pearl trimmed headdress with a peaked front, the long tresses swung forward enough to expose the tip of her ears. Lina gave a little start, for the tips were quite pointed.   
  
"I'm still rather in a daze, Mother-in-Law," she managed to gasp, "The welcome and the food have been beyond my expectations."   
  
"Please, dear, call me Meliroon. We're old acquaintances after all."   
  
Lina felt a chill go through her, and her knife and fork stilled in stunned mid-slice, but before she could say anything, Meliroon turned to speak to the high priest of the temple. Lina shifted her gaze to other members of Gourry's family, but their ears were covered by various elaborate scarves and caps. Another surprise awaited Lina when Mara sat down in the vacant space next to her.   
  
"Are you enjoying the feast, Lady Lina? It would seem so from the stack of plates before you. I am so glad our young lord married someone who appreciates good food."  
  
"Oh, yes," Lina answered. "It's also great that the family holds cooks in such high esteem."  
  
Gourry winced a little and informed Lina, "Mara is our main instructor in the magical arts. She supervises cooking as a hobby, and she has some spells you may be very interested in."  
  
Mara patted Lina's hand. "It's so hard learning who does what when you're thrust into a new crowd, especially when you have a rather forgetful mate."  
  
Meliroon tugged on Gourry's sleeve and requested, "Would you please ask Lina if she'd care to join me for after dinner tea in my bower? You two have already had your fun this afternoon." Gourry glowed pink, but did as she asked. Lina accepted with alacrity.  
  
After the feast and in her rooms, Meliroon poured the tea herself and smirked as she handed a cup to Lina. "So, Lina, I get to thank you again for saving my people on Mipross Island."  
  
"But, but how... Didn't you and Rowdy..."  
  
"Elves mature very slowly. I was still a child by elf standards when he was an old, old man. A couple years after the defeat of Joyrock, his family moved to the mainland, and he found another human to marry. On a diplomatic mission to the Elmekian court, I ran into his descendent, Gourry's father. He reminded me so much of Rowdy. We fell in love, although I knew it would bring me much pain in the future, given our differences in life spans. But when you have lived and endured as long as I have, you learn to handle loss, even of your most beloved, hard as that may seem to you, Lina, in your own young love." Still, her eyes grew glossy with moisture. She shook her head and gave a light laugh, "After all, I have to stick around to advise my children and hoped-for grandchildren."  
  
Lina shifted nervously, and her face began to make movements like a gasping fish at the mention of grandchildren. But before the younger woman could comment, her mother-in-law continued, "Don't worry. I know you have to become used to your new role and home before you can take that contraceptive spell off my son."  
  
Lina gulped and recovered with, "I'm still kinda stunned to discover he's part elf. He never told me he was a baron's son, and now it seems he also forgot to tell me he was half elven! Sure, he's tall, very handsome, and has exceptional fighting skills, but his ears aren't pointed."  
  
"That's were he luckily takes after his father's side. It kept him from being found after he left with the Sword of Light. There are so few elves out in the open nowadays, that a pointy-eared mercenary would have attracted notice. The wrong family members might have discovered him too easily. I suspect his mind somehow blanked out his elven heritage for his own safety. He does have a tendency to blurt out the wrong thing at the wrong time."  
  
"Boy, do I know it!" concurred Lina.  
  
Meliroon continued, "Another advantage to his elven blood, is he's more durable and will probably live much longer than the normal human, although perhaps not as long as a pure elf. Provided, that is, he survives battles, assassins, and accidents. He's reached the age where he will always look physically 22. Because of your magical strength, you two should have a very long life together, unlike my husband and I," Meliroon added wistfully.  
  
Lina mused, "I guess his being half elven explains the rapid hair regrowth."  
  
"No, that trait has nothing to do with elven blood that I know of, since some of my husband's relatives also have it. Maybe there was a dragon or something like it in the bloodline from times so ancient as to be forgotten. The Gabriev lack of memory also seems to be inherited, although maybe that's due in part to Rowdy's mucking around with time."  
  
Meliroon waved a hand as if she were clearing cobwebs. "Well, let's discuss what will happen in a few days and some of your new duties as a baroness. I'll send for Gourry so he'll be informed as to his as well. By the way, I never told Gourry about you, just that his ancestor sent a sorceress back in time to save my people on Mipross from destruction. Of course, whether he paid enough attention to remember is open to debate, but let's keep our past just between us. He's going to have enough to deal with as it is right now."  
  
Lina gave a great sigh and agreed not to say anything about the long ago events on Mipross and to listen patiently and ask pertinent questions about the upcoming ceremonies and duties. Despite what Gourry may have thought, she HAD learned from seeing Amelia in 'ruler' mode.   
  
While waiting for Gourry to arrive, she remembered the disturbing recruitment flyer she had read when she and her friends had visited the well provisioned bandit abode. After Gourry entered the room and received punishment for neglecting to tell her about his elven parent, she displayed its contents to him and Meliroon.   
  
"Lord Martegor was like an uncle to us!" Gourry exclaimed softly, but after all he had experienced in war, with Amelia's family, and exploits with Lina, he wasn't as terribly surprised at the betrayal as he would have been in his younger days.  
  
Meliroon snarled, "So this is the result of marrying your elder sister to him. After she died saving him from assassination last year, he proposed to me a month or so after your elder brothers died. So much for his "discovering a mature love through adversity"."  
  
"Zaza got married and then died?!" Gourry exclaimed. Tears welled up in his eyes.  
  
"She was overly ambitious but still a true Gabriev, guarding well those she was sworn to, even if love wasn't the reason she married Martegor."  
  
"She annoyed the heck out of me a lot, but she still was a good sister."  
  
Meliroon sighed, "They had no children, as you can tell from this letter. He would have claimed the barony for the child, if they had had one. Now, we'll have to think how to handle this situation and avoid giving him an excuse to invade outright himself."  
  
"You probably should make it known that the festivities had to be immediate and private, because of your recent mourning. We can hope that will avoid offending neighboring lords for lack of invitations. By inviting them and not him, it could tip Lord Martegor off that we suspect his intentions," Lina advised.  
  
"We'll have to increase the watchers at all the borders now, especially during the festivities to install you two officially as the Baron and Baroness. With bandits added to his regular army, it's going to be a tough battle," Meliroon declared.  
  
"Wouldn't the Emperor put a stop to any territorial ambitions on the barony out of gratitude to us?" Lina queried.  
  
"Come on, Lina. You and I both know from experience about the reliability of gratitude from princes and kings," Gourry snorted.   
  
"Huh, you remember a thing like that? Yeah, you're right."  
  
Gourry shot Lina a small, hurt look, and she had the grace to return an apologetic one.  
  
"Anyway, I don't believe Lord Martegor's regulars will be part of the initial invasion," Gourry opined. "He'll send in the bandits first. If they win, he'll show up with his regular men to "save" the barony and take over to rebuild and eventually possess it."  
  
Meliroon and Lina gawked at him in surprise. He reponded, "Hey, I know from my past as a mercenary that it's a common political tactic, and don't forget, military strategy and tactics were part of my upbringing. How else do you think I could connect with you so easily and wordlessly in our battles, Lina?"  
  
Meliroon felt great relief at the evidence that her youngest and formerly most scatter-brained son had changed for the better and might turn out to be a very good lord after all. She hugged her son, and Lina regarded her husband with pride and a little more respect.   
  
The elf also appreciated her son's mate even more when Lina noted, "It seems from the flyer that Lord Martegor doesn't know Gourry was found and returning home. He also doesn't know about ME. I believe his bandit dupes will be in for a very nasty surprise if and when they strike the barony." She gave a very evil chuckle. With a more serious demeanor she continued, "It's going to be crucial that they be defeated. We have to show strength to prevent any other ambitious lord from thinking he can try to invade, since we can't depend on the gratitude of emperors."  
  
The three made further plans for any surprise attack. After which, Meliroon began her instruction on the couples' future duties and the ceremonies which were soon to take place.  
  
***************************************************************  
  
In an interview Kanzaka was asked if Gourry was part elf. The translated interview on QP Diana's website is very delphic, deliberately ambiguous. He did not say yes or no, just that Rowdy couldn't have married Meliroon. Most readers seem to interpret that as no elven blood for Gourry, but I don't. I believe it can be taken that Gourry may have the blood, just not as a result of Meliroon and Rowdy marrying. Kanzaka also said, I forget where, that while Lina ages, Gourry is eternally 22 (or 23?). 


	5. Part 5

This part I think was induced by writing during the December holidays with their renewal of communications with relatives and weight-increasing food porn.   
  
*******************************************************************  
  
The next day a richly dressed Lord and Lady Gabriev nervously entered the modest baronial temple where Gourry was to officially receive the baron's circlet and the people of the barony were to renew their oaths of fealty.   
  
Lina's hair was rolled on the sides of her head and gathered at the back in such a way that her errant bangs were captured, except for a few curling tendrils. The sable trim lining the neckline and front of the green brocade, fitted robe contrasted nicely with the vibrant color of her hair. Meliroon had lent her a heavy, gold, heirloom chain, which was looped four times over her neck. The large emerald and diamond earrings Gourry had purchased for her swung gently as she walked with her head held high.   
  
Gourry wore a white cape embroidered with a blazing sword of light and lined with a soft, white fur. The garment was fastened with a large golden pin in a complicated knot shape. His long tunic and trousers were white silk edged with a green that matched Lina's dress. The half-gloves were gone and a signet ring with the Gabriev crest was on his right ring finger. A white silk ribbon held back his long hair in a low ponytail. He wore white boots, which Lina envied as she prayed she wouldn't stumble due to the high heels the women of the castle had insisted she wear.  
  
Lina's grip on Gourry's hand was so tight as they slowly paced down the aisle to their places at the altar that he thought his hand would need her to heal it later. He whispered words of encouragement, "You've faced down Dark Lords. Facing these people shouldn't bother the courageous and beautiful Lina Gabriev!"  
  
"But I didn't have to live the rest of my life with those Dark Lords, Pudding-Brain", Lina quavered under her breath.  
  
While they ever so slowly walked toward their seats with young pages following and carrying the Blast Blade, Lina's train, and the pillowed circlets of rank, choir members, males on one side, females on the other, began to sing a slow, beautiful chant consisting of a haunting melody and a drone harmony. As the couple reached the thrones and sat, the music soothed their nervousness somewhat. The slightly minor melody soared and dipped. Sunbeams filtered through the small stained glass windows of the walls and squat, octagon shaped dome and reflected off the glittering mosaics and frescoes.   
  
A feeling came over Lina like that when she had first mastered Levitation and Ray Wing and let herself hover with the air currents. It had been so peaceful and comforting to be above the hurly-burly of the town and out of her sister's reach. The flow of winds caressed her. Yet at the same time there had been a pit of excitement in her belly at the accomplishment. A quiet joy had come over her. Somewhat the same feeling also came when she lay in Gourry's arms after lovemaking, but that was better for being shared. She wished she could snuggle up to him now, instead of sitting up straight, primped and decorous in stiff, brocaded robes.   
  
A glance out of the corner of her eyes showed her Gourry had relaxed somewhat as well. His eyes were half-closed and a calm, peaceful smile was on his face. "Oh, crap! Is he going to fall asleep?!" She wondered how she could snap him out of it without an explosion. To her relief, he reached over to grasp her hand that was resting on the arm of her seat and squeezed it with that same smile on his face just as the choir ended.  
  
The priests and priestesses of the four great dragon kings each took their appropriate places at the four points of the compass. A fifth, who had been elected and advanced to high priest from one of the four priesthoods stood in the middle.   
  
As he chanted, he took the baronial circlet around to each of the other four, who blessed it. He for fire waved a burning incense stick over it, she for earth sprinkled fine dirt over it, he for air blew gently on it, and she for water sprinkled that liquid over it. The high priest then asked Gourry for his oaths.   
  
A blank look came over the suddenly flustered young nobleman. Lina was hard put to restrain herself from getting up and landing a fist on his head. The night before, when Meliroon discussed the ceremony and duties with the couple, the elf had to remind her son about the four dragon kings. It turned out he crossed himself out of habit, not remembering why. When asked to name the four dragons, he stumbled.  
  
"Jellyfish, you even gave a back rub to the thoughts of the Water Dragon King. Remember Auntie Aqua?" Lina berated him.  
  
"That nice, little old lady in charge of that Chair Bubble thing? Oh, yeaah! Uh, think she's really ok?"  
  
"Yes, that little old lady, but I don't know if Gaav (Big guy, big hair, big sword, nearly killed us all before the Hellmaster kid tore him apart?) destroyed her or just escaped."  
  
Meliroon just gaped and gasped, "Son, you gave a backrub to the remaining thoughts of the Water Dragon King? You didn't mention that when you recounted your adventures."  
  
"Yeah, and he also grabbed the arms of the Lord of Nightmares, according to what a monster later told me."  
  
"I did?"  
  
"Yes, Beans-for-Brains! How many times do I have to remind you that it wasn't me?"  
  
"LON absorbed you right? So in a way it WAS still you, and I saved you," he replied smugly.  
  
Meliroon was speechless as they continued arguing. Finally she shook her head in wonder and resumed her instruction. "Hello?! Back to the present now, children! You've got ceremonies and future duties to learn!"  
  
Lina bridled at "children" but soon afterward became as abashed as her husband at his mother's words. The couple then listened attentively. (Well, Gourry as much as he could. He was helped along with occasional elbow jabs from wife and mother when he started to drift off.)  
  
Now in the temple, Lina tapped the arm of his throne and mouthed at him, "Pledges, four Dragon Kings." That might have made something click, but the cue cards Meliroon held up probably were the things that did the trick. Gourry renewed his family's oath of loyalty and protection to his people and to the Elmekian Emperor. As he did so, following the cue cards and wooden arrows, he turned with equanimity to the four points of the compass, knelt on one knee before each, and swore by each dragon king. The high priest then placed the circlet upon Gourry's head, and a great cheer went up. The people of the barony in turn swore fealty to the baron. All present crossed themselves invoking the names of the four elemental dragon kings as Gourry spoke the formal words of acceptance of their oaths.   
  
The ceremonies were not over yet. Because their marriage had not taken place in the barony, Lina and Gourry agreed to another marriage ceremony in order that there could be no doubt as to Lina's right to be baroness. The high priest knew Gourry as a child and teenager and thus hurried the ceremony along before the baron tuned out. That and the rumbling of the couples' stomachs, in addition to Lina's reputation for impatience when it came to food, also ensured the priest would place the baroness' circlet on her brow in record time.  
  
Sumptuous robes were fine and good for ceremonies, but the couple was a great deal happier after they had changed into simpler clothes, but still of fine materials. It wouldn't have done to get food all over their high court attire. They were in mid-feast gorge when a white-faced guard rushed into the hall and knelt before the head table.   
  
"My lord! Please forgive my intrusion! A large horde of bandits and trolls are advancing on the castle. They are about two candle marks away!"  
  
Gourry looked toward his mother, who nodded to the family and rose from her seat. He commanded, "Mikey, blow the horn signal to warn the village. Send the rest of the guards out to gather the villagers and others of the barony into the castle. Because of the festivities, most of the people of the barony fortunately are near. Come everyone, we have to prepare."  
  
Lina interlaced her fingers and cracked her knuckles. "How dare those jerks interrupt this fabulous meal?! But, heh, guess I could use a little exercise to free up room for the rest of it!"  
  
Everyone sweat-dropped, except Gourry, who smiled fondly at his bride and patted her affectionately on the head. She lifted an eyebrow at him in mock annoyance and swatted his hand away good-naturedly. "Show me where I'd be best placed to fight, Jellyfish."  
  
"At my back, of course," he replied. "First, though, we have to make sure children and those too weak or unskilled to fight are securely within the depths of the castle."  
  
"Shall I set a shield around them when they arrive?" Sylphiel volunteered.  
  
"You can do that?" one of Gourry's aunt's exclaimed. She wore shoulder and chest guards and long, sharp metal fingernails on her thumbs and index and middle fingers. But it seemed very strange to Lina that the aunt, in additon to a mace, carried a cooking whisk. Gourry's younger sisters, along with other women of the family, also wore and carried the same protection and implements as well as swords.  
  
"What the ..." Lina began as she looked askance at the whisks, but before she could finish her sentence, Jassy grinned and laughed, "We're going to cook up trouble for the invaders. You'll see."  
  
Just then villagers began to arrive and the family escorted the nervous women, crying children, and infirm to protective shelter within the castle. Once everyone was present and accounted for, Sylphiel started to cast the special shielding spell for a large space and group. Weaponry and most magic wouldn't be able to penetrate it. As it was anchored in the physical walls of the shelter, it could stand on its own and wouldn't interfere with Sylphiel's casting other spells. She or another sorcerer would have to dispel it, though, in order for those inside to leave.  
  
"Mommy, I haf to weewee!" a little voice sobbed.  
  
"Me, too!" several other high-pitched voices joined in.  
  
In mid-spell Sylphiel threw a look of panic at Meliroon.  
  
"Not to worry," the elf reassured the crowd, "Thunder pots are behind that curtained space over there. Just be sure to include that area in your spell, Sylphiel."  
  
"Right. We don't want to have anyone caught with their pants down," Lina agreed, and this time Sylphiel managed to finish the spell.  
  
Just as she finished the protective spell, the warning horn blasted, signaling of the sighting of the enemy. With a cheery wave to those huddled together inside the magical shield, Sylphiel, Lina, and Meliroon dashed outside the keep to join Gourry and the other defenders. The first line of defense was the curtain wall surrounding the village and castle two thirds of the way. A craggy, steep-faced mountain embraced the back third. All able-bodied, armed men and women lined the man-made and natural walls, bows, spears, maces, and swords ready. The Gabriev women had their peculiar weapons in hand as well.  
  
The attackers emerged from the surrounding forest and swarmed across the fields. Trolls cleared passages through fences and flung aside any stray animal that had managed to avoid being hidden.  
  
From the attackers sped a rain of fire-lit arrows, which were intended to ignite the buildings of the village. Fortunately, the villagers had watered down their roofs before hand. Gourry's sword struck down arrows before they reached him and those closest to him. Over at another spot, Mikey was almost as good. Lina eliminated those flying higher than a sword could reach just before Sylphiel cast another protection shield. As she was about to cast a powerful Mega Brando at the enemy archers, she heard "Tartus Fling!" from one of the Gabriev sisters, and a giant whipped cream pie landed on several of the enemy archers and the fire receptacle used to light their arrows. The young woman's whisk had an afterglow.   
  
"Mega Brandy!" shouted Jassy, pointing her glowing whisk at another group trying to light their arrows. They and their fire source evaporated in a huge explosion as an enormous keg of whiskey emptied over them.  
  
Gourry winked at Lina and exchanged smirks with the other men, who all stood back, arms folded, and let the Gabriev women take over. Lina's eyebrows went up in surprise. "Watch for a bit," Gourry advised.   
  
As bandits started to swarm toward the walls with ladders and grappling hooks, his sisters, aunts, Mara, and Meliroon cast other culinary spells. "Wurst Rondo" (Or as the Germans would say, "Vurst Rondo") cudgeled the enemies and their siege machines with giant wieners. "Jellos Quart!" shrieked Mara repeatedly, and unlucky groups were immobilized in casings of black cherry gelatin mixed with fruit cocktail and miniature marshmallows. They were sweetened to death. "Ginger Snap" stopped other groups in their tracks by enormous cookies landing on them and squashing them into bloody frosting.   
  
Suddenly a voice shouted, "Trolls, will you get those @#$%* gates?!"   
  
Gourry looked to Lina, "Lina, you know the reversing spell. Take several of my relatives with you and meet the trolls outside the walls. The women will handle the wounding."  
  
The sisters and a few agile aunts and cousins joined Lina in Ray Winging down. Lina tagged the trolls while the defenders above covered her and the other women, who ran up to the trolls and pinched their cheeks with their sharp, steel-nailed fingers. They squealed, "Oooo, aren't you the cutest little trolly-wolly!" "Look at those sweet, plump cheeky-weekies! I just have to pinch 'em!" "Would 'ums be a good boy for auntie?" The trolls were stunned and wailing in pain as the females flew back to the walls. Sylphiel cast a large shield as Lina snapped her fingers. The trolls exploded into gory gobbets.  
  
Despite the defenders' efforts, some of bandit horde began to scale the walls. Those able to dodge weapons, large projectiles, and boiling liquids and thus gain purchase on the battlements, found themselves in hand to cheek combat as steel-tipped fingers found their targets. Those whose cheeks were spared found food stuffed into their mouths. They soon surrendered to the "auntie defense" and passed out in rich food induced ecstasy (or "stuffocation," as one defender put it).  
  
Meanwhile, Gourry nonchalantly cut away the clothes and armor of some, while Lina happily fireballed others, who suddenly realized in terror who she was. As repeated screams of "Lina Inverse, the Bandit Killer?!" reached the ears of those attackers still kicking (and eating), a general panic occurred among them. Grabbing what food they could and the injured, the remainder fled, whining and dining. Thanks to the cuisine art of the Gabriev women, Lina's magic, and the non-magical fighting skills of others, the barony was saved.  
  
"That should send the message to Lord Martegor and any others." Lina declared as she brushed her hands in satisfaction. "A big victory banquet would hit the spot right now."  
  
"Um, I think we have a few things to take care of first," Gourry cautiously commented as he surveyed the surroundings.  
  
"You really are taking this lord thing seriously, aren't you?"Lina complained, surprised at his change in priorities. He started to scold, but she grinned at him and said fervently, "Know what, Jellyfish, I'm PROUD of you!"  
  
Quite a few cleansing spells were needed to restore the fields, buildings, and walls to normal. Those and healing spells kept Lina and Sylphiel busy, after the shrine maiden released the protective shield on the children and those who were not fighters. The prisoners were given bottles of stomach settling potions and released. They were hurried on their waddling way by a few fireballs well placed at their heels.   
  
"Hanging those guys would have been one solution to this case, but this other is justice good," Gourry explained to Lina.  
  
"That pun deserves a punch," Lina groaned and raised her fist.  
  
"Yeah, Mara makes a great wine and honey one," Gourry yelled over his shoulder as he raced back to the main hall ahead ofhis furious bride.  
  
Several months later Lina felt very bored, despite having cooks, a steward, maids, a housekeeper, an estate manager, musicians, family advisors, and patient in-laws. And that was just it-too many people doing too much for her. Her every wish was granted. Yes, Gourry made sure she stayed in shape with martial arts training as well as with the arts of love. Her in-laws also instructed her in their peculiar culinary magic, but the charms of sex, food, and magic were not enough to drown the feelings of restlessness. The martial victory the Gabrievs achieved on the day of the official installation of Gourry and Lina had the desired effect. Other lords treated the barony with respect. Thereafter, only occasional raids by bandits and low level demons offered Lina any 'stress relief.'   
  
Then she discovered she was pregnant. During one bandit raid, a hedge wizard had managed to cast a minor, but annoying spell on Gourry. Lina had cast Flow Break on her husband, but in the thick of battle and the feasting afterwards, she completely forgot that the contraceptive spell had been broken as well.  
  
Knowing producing heirs was part of the baroness bargain, she put aside her dismay and thoughts of strangling Gourry, especially after seeing the rapturous joy on his and Meliroon's faces when she told them the news. Besides, the pregnancy gave her the chance to bask in the center of attention. But, while she enjoyed the attentiveness given her by spouse and in-laws, she learned she found it sometimes over-solicitous. Their care and concern became more and more annoying as she became more and more physically limited by the growth of the heir within her. Adding to the annoyance, her spells didn't always act the way they were supposed to. After a small bandit raid that she was forced to sit out, Gourry came back to the unusual sight of Lina in a flood of self-pitying tears.  
  
"Lina, we're all ok! Those guys won't be back. You shoulda seen the main course Mom threw at them!"  
  
Lina bawled even harder.  
  
"Uh, oh. Mom did warn me women get real moody and sensitive when pregnant. She said they need to be reassured they're still hot." He held her chin in his hand. "Ahem. Lina, you're gorgeous, like a luscious, ripe, round, red plum!"  
  
Her fist found his chin, and his head in turn found the stone wall of their quarters as he flew backwards.  
  
"I'm bored to tears, you idiot! I've got this watermelon making me as clumsy as your attempts at cheering me up, and my spells are so unpredictable as to be useless! I HATE being useless! I feel like I'm turning into one dull dish of oatmeal!" she shrieked.  
  
"Dull? Never," Gourry reassured her as he sat up and held and wiggled his sore chin in his hand. Rising to his feet, he walked over to his steaming wife and embraced her. "You've got so many talents and interests, Lina. Let's sit down and think how you can use 'em." He wiped her cheeks and handed her his handkerchief. She blew her nose noisily as they both sat down at a small table under a sunny window.  
  
"I know! I'll redesign the houses that were destroyed in the village and decorate them for the villagers!"  
  
"I...I don't know if they'd really appreciate that, Lina."  
  
"And why not? Didn't I go a good job on the Fire Dragon Temple?"  
  
"Uh, ye-e-es ... b-b-but ...," he stuttered as he tried to think quickly. Then fear made the words pour out, "...You'd have to do a lot of standing around to oversee, and, after the baby is born, you might have your hands too full to go running here and there. And do you really want stifle the villagers'own artistic talents by imposing your own? Remember we must keep up good relations with 'em."  
  
"Well, you know being domestic just isn't my thing, despite my sister's making sure I have homemaker skills," Lina complained. "I'm a disaster at noble women's occupations of weaving, knitting, and embroidery, and I don't give a tit for tatting."  
  
"I don't know, Lina, you seemed pretty good at embroidering on the truth in our travels, and you shouldn't give away your breasts anyway. I like 'em where they are, plus the baby will need 'em."  
  
Lina glared and stood up to thump him a good one, but he took her on his lap and kissed her.  
  
"Speaking of travel," he continued, when they came up for air, "We've explored a lot of great dishes in some mighty exotic places. I bet people would like to taste them, too. Why don't you work on an international cookbook? Now that Sylphiel is married to Mikey and living here, she can help. I'm sure we'd all be interested in testing the recipes." He smacked his lips in anticipation.  
  
"You...have...an idea that might be possibly interesting?" she asked in astonishment.  
  
"Well, Mara kinda suggested it," he admitted.  
  
Lina laughed and kissed him again.  
  
Two children later, Lina's cookbook was finished and a success. This was needed, for a series of bad crop seasons was hard on the monetary state of the barony, and the Elmekian Empire wanted its taxes. Gourry was too kind-hearted to wring villagers, landed gentry, and tenants dry, and, although Lina had been a greedy young sorceress, her own heart had matured. Proceeds from the cookbook helped upkeep of their demesne, but weren't enough to help everyone. After consulting and planning with her in-laws, Lina and Gourry opened up sword, sorcery, and cooking school, which attracted students from all over the known world, employed the locals, and paid the Empire's taxes.   
  
Every once in a while the couple left the running of the barony and school to Meliroon. They happily went off adventuring and had a little romantic time together without their children and duties interfering. This had the interesting effect of expanding their brood and eventual staff of cheap instructors.   
  
They also became cleverer at discovering and, surprise, not destroying magical treasures. In fact, Lina amassed such a collection of treasures and sources of treasures that she was able to open up a store. Later, with the help of grown children and grandchildren of the couple and of their relatives, she set up branches. Spell-Mart became quite famous and profitable. The deals on PCs (Protective Charms) and equipment for DVDs (Defeating Vicious Demons) were particularly good. Thus they prospered, and Gourry had fewer bruises from a bored and frustrated Lina as they grew into old age. 


End file.
